Tutto bene?!

One thing I've discovered is in need of improvement in Italy is the strength of the wifi. It's not always dependable, and because of this I get frustrated and don't try to update the blog from the monastery. My teacher, Ilenia always asks us "tutto bene?" (everything going well?)...and typically the response is "va bene" (it's going well)....Well...with the internet situation I say "me fa male!" (it's going badly!)

Anyways---the entry:

Last year when I was in Portugal/Poland last year, it seemed like almost every day I had some sort of wonderful revelation in prayer, or on a walk, or just randomly that I would blog about...This year my entries and "revelations" have been few (don't worry, I'm still praying!!), and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. Today however, I read something that brought me back to an entry I had last year...

Although July 31 is the feast of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus, better known as the Jesuits, I still took my LOTH today from the 4 week psalter (Wednesday Week 1)...And today at Mid day the reading said:

Become holy yourselves in every aspect of your conduct, after the likeness of the holy One who called you; remember, Scripture says, "Be holy, for I am holy." (1 Peter 1:15-16)

(Response) May your priests be robed with holiness.
-Let your people dance for joy.

And right away I remembered my blog from last summer when I talked about the last (and in my opinion the most striking) line in the litany of humility. It is: "that others may become holier than I provided that I become as holy as I should."...YESSSS!!!!!

If I am called to be a priest, one of my primary roles is to sanctify God's people. And I can't give what I don't have...I can't lead others to holiness if I myself am not striving for my own personal holiness.

My summer assignment pastor this year gave me "10 nuggets of wisdom for seminarians", and the last one was about how the reason the priest walks in last in the procession is because it's his responsibility to shepherd the faithful into heaven. It was so powerful to me, because I have such a strong desire to lead people to Jesus. I know what He's done in my life, and I want others to have that as well...I want them to know how much they are loved by their Father and how He desires for them to love Him back.

Right now it is easy to fall into despair and feel like I'm not doing anything to lead anyone to Jesus. It's a temptation to think that I have put my personal sanctification on hold because I'm not in the structured schedule of seminary life and I'm "only" learning Italian---that's bogus!

 My life right now not only can be, but NEEDS to be a witness to my brother seminarians, my teachers, the other students. Regardless of whether or not our native tongues are the same, regardless of whether or not I'll ever minister to them as a priest, regardless of everything...Right here, right now I am being commanded to be holy in EVERY aspect of my life---and my own personal reflection for the day has been---where do I stand? How am I doing? What can I improve?

I know the areas of my life that are broken and that I try to hide from God (which is so dumb of me if I think about it...hiding something from the Creator of EVERYTHING?!). Therefore...

I confess to Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I asked the Blessed Mary ever Virgin, all the angels and saints and to YOU my brothers and sisters to pray for me to the Lord our God. (And know of my love and prayers for you...)

Praised be Jesus Christ...

KPL

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