Forever changed...
August 2, 1998 was a typical summer day. My family went down to the Pawtucket Red Sox game for the day with the free tickets we got at the end of the school year.
After a fulfilled day and dinner, the family slowly retired for the night. Being a "cool teenager" (had just turned 13 in June), during summer I stayed up until all hours talking on the phone with friends or watching tv. This night was tv and Town Spa Pizza. My dad kept coming out of his room and getting water, wiping a lot of sweat from his head and then going back to his room.
One time however, grabbing his left arm, he said he thought I needed to wake my mother up. I knew this was not good and that he was most likely having a heart attack.
After waking up my mom, the two of them rushed off to Good Sam (dad refused to let 911 be called since his parents lived down the street and he didn't want them to worry). My mom told me not to wake my siblings and that she would call when she knew something. (pre cell phone era btw) I was scared out of my mind. Just 5 years earlier my cousins had lost their father to a massive heart attack, and I thought the same was about to happen to me. It was so unfair watching them grow up without their dad to share birthdays, holidays and special occasions, and I selfishly didn't want the same for my siblings and I.
Then I did something I hardly ever did outside CCD...I prayed. Just months earlier in 7th grade, I described myself as an atheist to my math teacher Ms White, to which she responded "things happen in life we don't expect-- you might not feel that way forever".. How right she was... I said "ok. 'God', if you're there and are real-- don't take my dad from us. I'll do anything-- get better grades, hang out with a new crowd, anything you want..." then I prayed a Hail Mary. I felt a sense of peace and calmness my 13 year old heart had never felt, and somehow I knew everything was going to be ok... But I still thought I would never see my dad alive again.
My mom returned around dawn, crying. I began to cry too, and awaited the words I thought were coming...But they never did . We just stood in the living room hugging and crying for what seemed like hours. I finally asked "did dad die?".. "No, but he had a massive heart attack and was airlifted to Boston... I'm scared" I explained to my mom that I was too but that I prayed and everything would be ok (whatever that meant) She remembers this next part (I sadly don't, but it still touches me)-- My mom said that W
while I hugged her and said "I want a wife just like you"
After a quintuple bypass surgery and what felt like months without him at home, my dad came home. I have ALWAYS been mindful of my promise to God that night, and I recall each August 2 as the date of my conversion. (Fr Mike in 10th grade
helped me to see how this was a classic example of God using a bad situation and making it good. God used my dad's heart attack to call me to Him. I had the choice to respond positively or negatively--- and that positive response is what has shaped my life these past 14 years)
Although I love my dad very much and am SO thankful we've shared the last 14 years, I want to turn the attention to the statement I made to my mother...
Today as I reflected on my conversion and what has happened since August 2,2011, I thought for the first time... "why did I pray a Hail Mary?, why not an Our Father... Or just a heartfelt prayer?" Then my statement to my mother "I want a wife like you" came into my thoughts...
IF (God willing) I am called to the priesthood.. I will never have a "wife", I will be "married to the church". That thought filled my heart with such joy an happiness. How awesome a vocation-- to be married to the Church?!
Of course my thoughts then turned to Our Lady, Mother of Priests. One of my entries last week was about holiness, faithfulness and purity. No human that has ever walked this planet better exemplifies those qualities than Mary...if I focus on her and her powerful intercession to her Divine Son, I can never go wrong!
It became so clear for me to see God's hand in this all! In 1998 I prayed for the intercession of the one who possesses all three qualities I desired for myself in 2002...and that I have been reflecting on in Portugal (and now Poland) in 2012! God has slowly been preparing me to have a special devotion to the Blessed Mother, and it has been revealed slowly.. Culminating with my visiting Our Lady of Czestechowa yesterday and my anticipated visit to Fatima next week!
I thought about all the guidance and protection my earthly mother has provided for me throughout my 27 years of life. Then I thought about the spiritual guidance and protection Mary has given me, and all the situations in my life where, even though out of the presence of my earthly mother, I was still protected by l the guiding hand of a spiritual mother protected.
If down the road I am ordained a priest I will have the best possible spouse, the Church. It therefore follows that the Mother of the Church will continue to guide me to her Son and protect me from whatever threatens to separate me from Him!!
To Jesus through Mary...
Que Deus vos abençoe,
--KPL
After a fulfilled day and dinner, the family slowly retired for the night. Being a "cool teenager" (had just turned 13 in June), during summer I stayed up until all hours talking on the phone with friends or watching tv. This night was tv and Town Spa Pizza. My dad kept coming out of his room and getting water, wiping a lot of sweat from his head and then going back to his room.
One time however, grabbing his left arm, he said he thought I needed to wake my mother up. I knew this was not good and that he was most likely having a heart attack.
After waking up my mom, the two of them rushed off to Good Sam (dad refused to let 911 be called since his parents lived down the street and he didn't want them to worry). My mom told me not to wake my siblings and that she would call when she knew something. (pre cell phone era btw) I was scared out of my mind. Just 5 years earlier my cousins had lost their father to a massive heart attack, and I thought the same was about to happen to me. It was so unfair watching them grow up without their dad to share birthdays, holidays and special occasions, and I selfishly didn't want the same for my siblings and I.
Then I did something I hardly ever did outside CCD...I prayed. Just months earlier in 7th grade, I described myself as an atheist to my math teacher Ms White, to which she responded "things happen in life we don't expect-- you might not feel that way forever".. How right she was... I said "ok. 'God', if you're there and are real-- don't take my dad from us. I'll do anything-- get better grades, hang out with a new crowd, anything you want..." then I prayed a Hail Mary. I felt a sense of peace and calmness my 13 year old heart had never felt, and somehow I knew everything was going to be ok... But I still thought I would never see my dad alive again.
My mom returned around dawn, crying. I began to cry too, and awaited the words I thought were coming...But they never did . We just stood in the living room hugging and crying for what seemed like hours. I finally asked "did dad die?".. "No, but he had a massive heart attack and was airlifted to Boston... I'm scared" I explained to my mom that I was too but that I prayed and everything would be ok (whatever that meant) She remembers this next part (I sadly don't, but it still touches me)-- My mom said that W
while I hugged her and said "I want a wife just like you"
After a quintuple bypass surgery and what felt like months without him at home, my dad came home. I have ALWAYS been mindful of my promise to God that night, and I recall each August 2 as the date of my conversion. (Fr Mike in 10th grade
helped me to see how this was a classic example of God using a bad situation and making it good. God used my dad's heart attack to call me to Him. I had the choice to respond positively or negatively--- and that positive response is what has shaped my life these past 14 years)
Although I love my dad very much and am SO thankful we've shared the last 14 years, I want to turn the attention to the statement I made to my mother...
Today as I reflected on my conversion and what has happened since August 2,2011, I thought for the first time... "why did I pray a Hail Mary?, why not an Our Father... Or just a heartfelt prayer?" Then my statement to my mother "I want a wife like you" came into my thoughts...
IF (God willing) I am called to the priesthood.. I will never have a "wife", I will be "married to the church". That thought filled my heart with such joy an happiness. How awesome a vocation-- to be married to the Church?!
Of course my thoughts then turned to Our Lady, Mother of Priests. One of my entries last week was about holiness, faithfulness and purity. No human that has ever walked this planet better exemplifies those qualities than Mary...if I focus on her and her powerful intercession to her Divine Son, I can never go wrong!
It became so clear for me to see God's hand in this all! In 1998 I prayed for the intercession of the one who possesses all three qualities I desired for myself in 2002...and that I have been reflecting on in Portugal (and now Poland) in 2012! God has slowly been preparing me to have a special devotion to the Blessed Mother, and it has been revealed slowly.. Culminating with my visiting Our Lady of Czestechowa yesterday and my anticipated visit to Fatima next week!
I thought about all the guidance and protection my earthly mother has provided for me throughout my 27 years of life. Then I thought about the spiritual guidance and protection Mary has given me, and all the situations in my life where, even though out of the presence of my earthly mother, I was still protected by l the guiding hand of a spiritual mother protected.
If down the road I am ordained a priest I will have the best possible spouse, the Church. It therefore follows that the Mother of the Church will continue to guide me to her Son and protect me from whatever threatens to separate me from Him!!
To Jesus through Mary...
Que Deus vos abençoe,
--KPL
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