"Rebuild my Church..."

Friday morning the 64 new men, a few orientation leaders from Second Year, and a lot of the priest faculty departed NAC for Assisi for "First Year Fraternity Weekend". Each year, the college sponsors a weekend away from Rome in order for each class to build fraternity with each other. First year's happens to be incorporated into our orientation program.

After arriving to Assisi mid-morning, we celebrated Mass in S. Chiara (St. Clare's), which is where the San Damiano Cross is located. This is the cross that Francis was praying in front of when the Icon of Christ Crucified came alive and said to him three times, "Francis, Francis, go and repair My house which, as you can see, is falling into ruins". He thought this to mean the ruined church in which he was presently praying, and so sold his horse and some cloth from his father's store, to assist the priest there for this purpose. 

After Mass and lunch we could pretty much explore the city, meet with our Formation Advisors, or continue "interviewing" potential Spiritual Directors. I went to Rocca Maggiore with a few guys to get a panoramic view of Assisi and the surrounding area, which was beautiful. After meeting with my FA and then talking to my 5th potential choice for SD, we had evening prayer and a conference given by one of the FA's. Not that I'm opposed to sharing, but I think I'll keep what he said off the record and in my head. 

Saturday morning we walked to the Basilica di S. Maria degli Angeli, which contains within it the Portiuncula (Latin) of St. Francis. This Porzioncula ("small portion of land") is where the Franciscan movement started. It is a little church which was given to St. Francis around 1208 by the Abbot of St. Benedict of Monte Subasio, on condition he make it the mother house of his religious family. It was in bad condition, lying abandoned in a wood of oak trees, and Francis restored it with his own hands. 

In the afternoon I took a tour of the Basilica di San Francesco, which is where St. Francis is buried. Again, I was honored and humbled to bring so many of your prayer intentions to the tomb of this 13th century saint for his intercession to our Lord.

In the evening we had another conference, but with one of the SD's this time. He talked about discipleship. I won't get into the details...for the same reason as the previous. However, I did reflect on my own vocational journey. Even though since high school priesthood was in my head, it wasn't until after graduating college than I began discerning. Even at that, I had my plans. I wanted to teach for a certain period of time before I considered the priesthood. By the end of my 2nd year teaching it was apparent that I needed to reconsider my plans and start conforming my will to Gods. 

The past two years of seminary life have further strengthened my desire to become a pirest of Jesus Christ, if that is what the Father wants of me (which I believe He does, but discernment isn't done just by myself--the Church has a say!) My two years at St. John's Seminary were amazing! Not everyday was fun, not everyday was happy--there were days I felt I was being stretched beyond what I was capable of handling, yet I always had a sense of peace being there (as I described in my last entry).

I realized today that I've been gone 7 weeks. At the end of this week, it will be the longest period of time I've been away from home. Like most "new men", I have said to myself "Lord, what am I doing here? Why was I sent here?" It reminds me of a quote by Thomas Merton in one of his prayers:

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you."

So even though right now I may be confused and puzzled, not quite sure what to make of being in the Eternal City---I have never stopped trying to do God's will. And the fact that I am wrestling trying to know His will and do it, pleases Him.

May we all do the same with our lives, even if we're not sure what His will is...let's all strive to please God in our lives.

Praised be Jesus Christ...

--KPL