Update from a Slacker

So it's been almost 2 weeks since I last posted...slackerrrrrr!

We're down to one more week of Italian classes, and then we go on our silent retreat for a week, return to take our Italian proficiency exam on Monday the 30th, and then start theology classes the week after that (October 7th).

I realized yesterday that it has been 60 days since leaving the US. My first thought was "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! It's ONLY been 60 days?!" Although it feels like more than 2 months since arriving here in Italy, I will say that it continues to be evident to me that God has plans for my heart to be more closely drawn to Him in this time "in the desert".

Today during Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament, I felt someone come into the same pew as me and sit down next to me. I continued praying when all of a sudden I felt him nudge me in the side. I look to my left, and it was Bishop Deeley, Vicar General for the Archdiocese of Boston. He's in Rome for new Bishop's school, and came to his alma mater for the welcome dinner. After Evening Prayer, I told the Bishop that over the past 2 months I've often recalled his reflection after he was ordained a Bishop on January 4 at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. Before Bishop started his thank you's, he said that often when he celebrates weddings he will get to the homily and say to the bride and groom "ok, we've made it this far, let's just take a deep breath and relax!" I expressed to him that I've said to myself a lot over the past two months "ok Kyle (I call myself Kyle)*...you've gotten here, just take a deep breath and breathe!" He asked about the transition, and I honestly replied that it's still a process getting used to being in Rome and not being back at SJS with my classmates.

Also after Evening Prayer I saw Bishop Michael Barber, SJ, Bishop of Oakland--who was my spiritual director at SJS for 2 years. I was SOOOO pumped to see him!!! He asked if he could go out with the Boston guys this week sometime...I am so excited for this!!

What I really want to reflect on is the reading from EP tonight, because it was especially touching to me. It was James 1:2-4 and goes like this:

My brothers, count it as pure joy when you are involved in every sort of trial. Realize that when your faith is tested this makes for endurance. Let endurance come to its perfection so that you may be fully mature and lacking in nothing.

While I don't feel that my faith is being tested, I will say that being in Rome is a trial for me. Most of those who know me would know me to be a "home body", and someone who enjoys being around family and friends. So to not have seen any of my family or friends (except for when Phil was in Rome in early August), poses a trial to me. I can't just hop in my car and be home in less than a half hour (depending on traffic), I can't shoot 15 minutes up the road to visit my brother and his family, I can't just show up to a good friend's parish one night after Holy Hour for dinner, I can't walk down the hall to a classmates room and get caught up for hours solving the problems of the world, a favorite pastime for seminarians. It is hard being away from the only place I've ever called home...however like the reading says, this will make for endurance. I must realize that my time "in the desert" is my time to focus on letting the Lord work in my heart and in my soul, drawing me ever closer to His Sacred Heart. My time alone, away from it all will allow Him to be the Lord of my life and to mold me into the priest that He has created me to be. However long He chooses to have me in the desert, I must count it as pure joy, realizing that the endurance I develop from this trial will come to its perfection, and I will be fully mature and lacking in nothing.

Praised be Jesus Christ...

--KPL

*"ok Kyle (I call myself Kyle)..."--Eric Matthews (Boy Meets World, Season 3)