15 years of gratitude...
For those who followed my blog last summer (or for those of you who have read through the archives), this post will seem very familiar. The numbers have been updated to match 2013, however the story, what it did for me, and the gratitude I have to God for my conversion remain the same.
So, here we go!
August 2, 1998 was a typical summer day. My family went down to Rhode Island for the Pawtucket Red Sox game with the free tickets we got at the end of the school year.
After a long day, the family slowly retired for the night. Being a "cool teenager" (I had just turned 13 in June), during summer I stayed up until all hours talking on the phone with friends or watching tv. This night was filled tv and Town Spa Pizza. However, something strange was happening. My dad kept coming out of his room and getting water, wiping a lot of sweat from his head and then going back to his room. One time however, grabbing his left arm, he said he thought I needed to wake my mother up. I knew this was not good and that he was most likely having a heart attack. (History of heart disease runs in the Leaver male side, and my dad had found in 1993 that he too had the "bad genes")
After waking up my mom, the two of them rushed off to Good Sam (dad refused to let 911 be called since his parents lived down the street and he didn't want them to worry). My mom told me not to wake my siblings and that she would call from the hospital when she knew something. (pre cell phone era) I was scared out of my mind. Just 5 years earlier my cousins had lost their father to a massive heart attack, and I thought the same was about to happen to me.
Then I did something I hardly ever did outside CCD...I prayed. Just months earlier in 7th grade, I described myself as an atheist to my math teacher Ms White, to which she responded "things happen in life we don't expect-- you might not feel that way forever".. How right she was... I said "ok. 'God', if you're there and are real-- don't take my dad from us. I'll do anything-- get better grades, hang out with a new crowd, [then I said the most dangerous thing] I'll do anything you want..." then I prayed a Hail Mary. I felt a sense of peace and calmness that my 13 year old heart had never felt, and somehow I knew everything was going to be ok... But I still thought I would never see my dad alive again.
My mom returned around dawn, crying. I began to cry too, and awaited the words I thought were coming...But they never did . We just stood in the living room hugging and crying for what seemed like hours. I finally asked "did dad die?".. "No, but he had a massive heart attack and was airlifted to Boston... I'm scared" I explained to my mom that I was too but that I prayed and everything would be ok (whatever that meant) She remembers this next part (I sadly don't, but it still touches me)-- My mom said that while I hugged her and said "I want a wife just like you"
After a quintuple bypass surgery and what felt like months without him at home, my dad came home. I have ALWAYS been mindful of my promise to God that night, and I recall each August 2 as the date of my conversion...though it was almost a year later that I became active in my Catholic faith. (Fr Mike in 10th grade helped me to see how this was a classic example of God using a bad situation and making it good. God used my dad's heart attack to call me to Him. I had the choice to respond positively or negatively--- and that positive response is what has shaped my life these past 15 years)
Although I love my dad very much and am SO thankful we've shared the last 15 years, I want to turn the attention to the statement I made to my mother. Each August 2 I reflect on my conversion and what has happened since August 2, 1998. I think, "why did I pray a Hail Mary?, why not an Our Father... Or just a heartfelt prayer?" Then my statement to my mother "I want a wife like you" came into my thoughts...
IF I am called to the priesthood, as I believe I am, I will never have a "wife", I will be "married to the church". This thought fills my heart with such joy and happiness. How awesome a vocation-- to be married to the Church?!
Of course my thoughts then turned to Our Lady, Mother of Priests. I blogged a few times last year about holiness, faithfulness and purity. No human that has ever walked this planet better exemplifies those qualities than Mary...and so if I focus on her and her powerful intercession with Divine Son, I can never go wrong!
It became so clear for me to see God's hand in this all! In 1998 I prayed for the intercession of the one who possesses all three qualities I first desired for myself at World Youth Day Toronto in 2002...and that I typically reflect on in my personal prayers. I truly believe that God has been preparing me to have a special devotion to the Blessed Mother, and it has been revealed slowly.
I think about all the guidance and protection my earthly mother has provided for me throughout my 28 years of life. Then my thoughts are drawn to the spiritual guidance and protection Mary has given me, and all the situations in my life where, even though without of the presence of my earthly mother, I was still protected by l the guiding hand of a spiritual mother.
If I am ordained a priest I will have the best possible spouse, the Church. It therefore follows that the Mother of the Church will continue to guide me to her Son and protect me from whatever threatens to separate me from Him!!
O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Praised be Jesus Christ...
--KPL
So, here we go!
August 2, 1998 was a typical summer day. My family went down to Rhode Island for the Pawtucket Red Sox game with the free tickets we got at the end of the school year.
After a long day, the family slowly retired for the night. Being a "cool teenager" (I had just turned 13 in June), during summer I stayed up until all hours talking on the phone with friends or watching tv. This night was filled tv and Town Spa Pizza. However, something strange was happening. My dad kept coming out of his room and getting water, wiping a lot of sweat from his head and then going back to his room. One time however, grabbing his left arm, he said he thought I needed to wake my mother up. I knew this was not good and that he was most likely having a heart attack. (History of heart disease runs in the Leaver male side, and my dad had found in 1993 that he too had the "bad genes")
After waking up my mom, the two of them rushed off to Good Sam (dad refused to let 911 be called since his parents lived down the street and he didn't want them to worry). My mom told me not to wake my siblings and that she would call from the hospital when she knew something. (pre cell phone era) I was scared out of my mind. Just 5 years earlier my cousins had lost their father to a massive heart attack, and I thought the same was about to happen to me.
Then I did something I hardly ever did outside CCD...I prayed. Just months earlier in 7th grade, I described myself as an atheist to my math teacher Ms White, to which she responded "things happen in life we don't expect-- you might not feel that way forever".. How right she was... I said "ok. 'God', if you're there and are real-- don't take my dad from us. I'll do anything-- get better grades, hang out with a new crowd, [then I said the most dangerous thing] I'll do anything you want..." then I prayed a Hail Mary. I felt a sense of peace and calmness that my 13 year old heart had never felt, and somehow I knew everything was going to be ok... But I still thought I would never see my dad alive again.
My mom returned around dawn, crying. I began to cry too, and awaited the words I thought were coming...But they never did . We just stood in the living room hugging and crying for what seemed like hours. I finally asked "did dad die?".. "No, but he had a massive heart attack and was airlifted to Boston... I'm scared" I explained to my mom that I was too but that I prayed and everything would be ok (whatever that meant) She remembers this next part (I sadly don't, but it still touches me)-- My mom said that while I hugged her and said "I want a wife just like you"
After a quintuple bypass surgery and what felt like months without him at home, my dad came home. I have ALWAYS been mindful of my promise to God that night, and I recall each August 2 as the date of my conversion...though it was almost a year later that I became active in my Catholic faith. (Fr Mike in 10th grade helped me to see how this was a classic example of God using a bad situation and making it good. God used my dad's heart attack to call me to Him. I had the choice to respond positively or negatively--- and that positive response is what has shaped my life these past 15 years)
Although I love my dad very much and am SO thankful we've shared the last 15 years, I want to turn the attention to the statement I made to my mother. Each August 2 I reflect on my conversion and what has happened since August 2, 1998. I think, "why did I pray a Hail Mary?, why not an Our Father... Or just a heartfelt prayer?" Then my statement to my mother "I want a wife like you" came into my thoughts...
IF I am called to the priesthood, as I believe I am, I will never have a "wife", I will be "married to the church". This thought fills my heart with such joy and happiness. How awesome a vocation-- to be married to the Church?!
Of course my thoughts then turned to Our Lady, Mother of Priests. I blogged a few times last year about holiness, faithfulness and purity. No human that has ever walked this planet better exemplifies those qualities than Mary...and so if I focus on her and her powerful intercession with Divine Son, I can never go wrong!
It became so clear for me to see God's hand in this all! In 1998 I prayed for the intercession of the one who possesses all three qualities I first desired for myself at World Youth Day Toronto in 2002...and that I typically reflect on in my personal prayers. I truly believe that God has been preparing me to have a special devotion to the Blessed Mother, and it has been revealed slowly.
I think about all the guidance and protection my earthly mother has provided for me throughout my 28 years of life. Then my thoughts are drawn to the spiritual guidance and protection Mary has given me, and all the situations in my life where, even though without of the presence of my earthly mother, I was still protected by l the guiding hand of a spiritual mother.
If I am ordained a priest I will have the best possible spouse, the Church. It therefore follows that the Mother of the Church will continue to guide me to her Son and protect me from whatever threatens to separate me from Him!!
O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. Praised be Jesus Christ...
--KPL
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